Sunday, December 2, 2007

Shedding my stripes

This has gone on long enough.
The time has come for me to come clean. The time has come to tell you all the truth:

I am not, in fact, a zebra.
Instead, I am a human being.

I wont call what I have been living up until this moment a “masquerade.” If I did that, I would be unfair to myself. I never actively tried to deceive anyone into believing that I was a zebra … I just never bothered to clarify.
It’s true, yes, I played on peoples’ fantasies, and allowed them to believe that I was something that I wasn’t- but can you honestly tell me that you have never done that, yourself?

I’m sorry if I hurt anyone by allowing them to buy into the zebra fa├žade. I’m sorry that I didn’t come outright and declare my humanity. I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.

If it makes anyone that I’ve harmed feel any better- I, too, suffer for this deceit.
It appears as though my village has bought into web of lies that I didn’t actually spin, but that I was fully aware of and took no efforts to stop.
So here I am. A zebra, living in a house, working at their schools, speaking their language, eating their food … would you just look at that ridiculous zebra walking down the street carrying grocery bags!

Yes, yes, I brought this upon myself.

I’m in too deep now. There’s no way out of this mess. Their impression of me as a zebra is now so deeply entrenched that if I exposed myself now, it would only bring devastation. How could anyone trust me again? No … I must play my part as the village‘s, domesticated zebra for the next two years.

On the bright side- my zebra status does present me with a certain kind of freedom. Unlike all the other humans in the village- if I want to act like a zebra, I can damn well act like a zebra. Because really, how could they fault a zebra for acting like a zebra? They can’t. They just can’t.

A few here that are close to me, I think they may know. Or they at least have a subconscious idea. Maybe one day I will reveal to them the truth. But the timing must be just right.
After all, recognizing another creature as a human being is no light matter.
Especially after believing that they were otherwise for so long.


texasuncle said...

You have burst my bubble. I have never before been able to brag about having a zebra for a niece. What's next - you going to tell me that you never were my niece to start with? You young people are so hard to figure out. :-(

Megan said...

Oh uncle Allen ...
Look, I said I was sorry, okay?

And honestly, I'm a little bit surprised that the lot of you hadn't caught on earlier.
I mean, really, don't you think it'd be awfully difficult for a zebra to type with HOOVES????

Here is my impression of how I would type if I were a zebra:

nmjxnvhjy uncvkler naskljklrmn

I just typed out "hey uncle allen" using my hands balled up like hooves.
As you can see, it isn't very clear.
I am a much more articulate typist than a zebra would be.

And as far as being your niece ... I am not the authority on the issue. You'll have to take that one up with your sister.

Soya said...

I thought you were a bear. The physique would suggest so.... ha ha ha! :)

LHRoger said...

Meg, we're so sorry you're confused. Actually, you are/were a Zebra. You had such cute hooves... lots of plastic surgery... very expensive. People thought you were adorable galloping around the soccer field... so young and graceful. Remember... I had to shame you by telling you to "stop running like a girl". You'd get mad and rear up on your hind legs...and those powerful headers...Fortunately over time your front legs withered to become humanoid. And don't worry about straightening out Uncle Al. He's always been in LalaLand.

Megan said...


Dad, are you messing with me?

texasuncle said...

Happy New Year exZebra. How did you celebrate the transition from the old to the new? Or don't they do that in your new neighborhood? Anyway hope you had a Merry Christmas and the start of a happy, healthy new year. Keep smiling. Love and hugs from Texas.